Disclaimer: These were personal feelings of mine in November 2012. I now personally do not share the same feelings but I am grateful for my life experiences as I continue to grow slowly but surely in the presence of God's love. Continue to be blessed on your journey of life. Peace and blessings to all whom read about my story involving truths, lies and deceit. I pray you love, joy and peace. Diary of a Miseducated Jamika B. November 2012: This shit is for the birds. Everywhere I turn someone pointing a finger at me. I am always wrong for saying how I feel or I am always arguing with someone because I express how I feel. Sometimes I think about going away to another country and being on my own. Starting over in life. Living in Paris or somewhere in Europe with a nice boutique and an online store. I want to walk the streets sketching the beautiful scenes and writing children books based on my sketches. But it sucks that I only get one life to live and I am consumed by the thought of going to hell so I have to do what people tell me to do. People meaning my parents, mom in particular, my husband and the others who helped raise me. I just want to do sumthing for JAMIKA. There were points where I was suicidal but now I am happy for my life. But I am not happy with my life. I hate the people at my job and they hate me. My mom smh well I do not have that mother daughter bond or relationship. My husband does not get me and I do not get him. I just want another chance to make things right. But of course that is not life. Life is completely unfair and you have to learn to be content with whatever cards you are dealt. I get people lives are worse than mine but my life ain't no walk in the park. Yes, I am thankful so does that mean I cannot feel disappointed from time to time. I guess I have to get over people disappointing me. And realize I need to depend on the capabilities God has blessed me with to survive. I have to learn to stop being disappointed by people. And not to expect much out of them. Because people gonna do what they want to do whenever and however they want. People are designed to disappoint at some point in life. I need to stop expecting my husband to be this fantasy guy in my mind. I have to expect less of him cuz when I expect too much he always lets me down or disappoints me cuz as a human he has that right to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. This is why marriage is hard for me. I think maybe I was designed to be alone. It is not a sin to be alone. I feel like I am being punished right now for sumthing I do not know that I did. I want to know my lesson so I can move on with my life. How much easier life would be if I were patient and never got married. Maybe that is my lesson or my punishment. Maybe my life was not meant to be full of happy happy joy joy. Cuz I clearly push everyone away. I am seen as evil and mean and even a brat. Maybe I am no people person. But why do people keep coming to me or why do I attract people? But when they get too close they either leave me (friendships broken) or they think I have a evil selfish side or worst of all they die on me. But it is so crazy how I never want to disappoint anyone so I try to please everyone but I always get burnt. Why is that? Disclaimer: These were personal feelings of mine in November 2012. I now personally do not share the same feelings but I am grateful for my life experiences as I continue to grow slowly but surely in the presence of God's love. Continue to be blessed on your journey of life. Peace and blessings to all whom read about my story involving truths, lies and deceit. I pray you love, joy and peace. Copyright 2012-2014 © Jamika Babbitt Stay THRIFTY... Copyright 2014 © Jamika Babbitt
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About ThatGirlJamika Blogspot...
The purpose of our blog page is to provide a platform for self expression of JamikaB, talented artist, and today's youth. To provide assistance to those in need of fashion and beauty services but also reaching out to those on a journey to peace, love, and joy. All things in hopes to inspire us all to live to our fullest potential in all areas of life. DISCLAIMER: SOME PHOTOS AND WRITINGS ARE NOT MY OWN. JUST A COLLECTION OF MY OWN IDEAS INSPIRED BY OTHER PEOPLE'S ART AND SONGS. THANK YOU Copyright 2012-2014 © Jamika Babbitt Archives
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