There was that moment in life where I could admit, I didn't trust I AM. I only saw the visual image of Christ as man. Growing up I developed trust issues. Those trust issues started with a man, continued with a man and lasted till I said I do. Then I relived the pain. Day by day my trust issues remained. But I continued to go to church, to hear a word from the LORD. But deep down inside I was torn. of my soul lied resentment, bitter, anger, jealousy, pain, confusion. All brought on the storm with heavy rains. I cried every day in remembrance of the early pain that lingered to my current day. I was at such disarray. Confused, hurt, mad and pissed. One day I told I Am I didn't trust HIM. For every man in my life beginning with my earthly father broke my trust. And lead me on a path of delusion to what trusting was. By the time I said I do my soul was battered but what was soon to come, made it shatter. He was the one I needed the most. The one I needed to depend on and hold. I never imagined, I would see the day I looked up to the heavens and begged I Am to kill me. I cried and cried my shattered soul cried. She wanted to die. I was furious with I AM. I cried out every night Why LORD oh why Oh LORD PLEASE! let me die. The smell of death was nigh. I told I AM I did not trust him this time. He was the ruling MAN in line. All I could see was the face they painted me. a man in time, unaware I silently despised. For the struggle to trust his kind. I AM heard my cry and although I tried he never let me die. Instead he shone his light. So I could open my eyes and see within me. The queen I must be the warrior in me. So I begin to read. In search of all great things. I AM THAT I AM said HIS Temple lies in me. I fell to my knees in true standing that I AM dwells in me. He created me for great things. A Temple for HIS dwellings. At that moment I stood to trust thee. For how can The Creator feed and shelter the fowls and the beast and forsake me. For I am, I AM's temple. He has to protect me. I am, I AM's creation. He has to guide me. For I am, I AM's child. He has to provide for me. Now there's a new moment in life where I will commit to trust I AM because I AM THAT I AM chose me!
Copyright 2014 © Jamika Babbitt